Title: Realizations
Author: Ann
Rating: NC-17 for adult content.
Keywords: Angst, GSR,
Sexual content.
Spoilers: Post-ep for OHW.
Summary: The Geeks make some realizations.
Disclaimer: I don’t own the characters. Wish I did, but
don’t. ‘Nuff said.
Archive: Only
with the author’s express permission.
~~~
After the second set of knocks, he set his novel on the nightstand
and extracted himself from the bed. Pulling the gray t-shirt off of his dresser,
he struggled to hastily adorn himself while quickening his pace towards the
door. He sighed, hoping that it wasn’t Mrs. Burgess, or Miss, as she had
continued to remind him. Either way, he didn’t really care. All he knew what
that he was going to run out of sugar soon, if the woman didn’t stop baking, or
eating it…or whatever else she was doing with the supply that he had been
wearily doling out for the past 4 days.
He opened the door slightly, preparing to recite a ‘will you please bother
another neighbor’ speech. He noticed a flutter in his chest when he realized
that he wouldn’t have to…
“Sara?” She stood in his doorway, shifting back and forth on her feet, looking
as if she were ready to sprint any second. This was a rare treat for him….he wasn’t
about to let her leave yet. He was very intrigued. He wasn’t sure why she was
here. He had left her in the locker room only a little over an hour ago. “Come
in. Please.”
“Hi.” She shook her head and almost laughed at her delayed reaction. The
temperature was rising within her as he gingerly placed his hand onto the small
of her back and ushered her over the threshold, into his home.
“Is everything alright?” He could hear the concern in his own voice and hoped
that it wasn’t as obvious to her.
“Yes.” Noticing that he didn’t seem too convinced, she gave him a small smile.
Stepping a bit closer to her, he tilted his head downward, forcing her eyes to
meet his. “You sure?”
“Really, Gris. I’m fine.” Chuckling at the constant look of apprehension on his
face, she wondered how long he would keep up this dance before finally asking
why she was there. He had to be curious, right? “I’m sure you’re wondering why
I’m here.”
“Uh…well, it’s not that…I just…well…I was just worried that something was
wrong. And…you’re sure you’re okay, Sara?”
“Grissom. You’ve already asked that three times. Read my lips. I…am…fine.”
Sara continued to grin at him, prepared to continue, but, when she saw his
features fall into an immediate look of sadness, a panic settled within her
gut. That was the same look of resignation that had inhabited his countenance
for weeks…months. It scared her.
She had purposefully distanced herself because of those ‘looks’, and now here
she was again. Her mind told her to run…to run from the look of pain…of fear…of
desperation that she was now privy to. All too often she would go crashing into
the walls he had built around himself…causing her more pain each and every
time. She took a hesitant step towards him, her heart winning out over her
body. It was time…
Seeing her approach, he eyed her cautiously and shook his head gently.
“Gris?” Her right hand came to rest on his left forearm. She could feel the
hair there rise from her touch.
“No.” Instinctively, he lurched backwards, losing his balance and falling
awkwardly onto the couch.
He immediately moved to sit back up but before he had the chance to stand, Sara
was crouching in front of him, her hands on his knees. He wouldn’t meet her
eyes. Instead, his own quickly scanned the room and then fell closed.
“I’m sorry, Grissom. So sorry.” She could taste the salt from the lone tear
that had made its way down her cheek, falling onto her lips. It was when she
sniffled lightly, trying to gain some composure, that his head whipped around
to stare at her. Confusion bored its way onto his features as he analyzed the
evidence of her crying. He tentatively lifted a hand to her face and wiped the
liquid from her skin. A sob escaped from deep within her throat, surprising the
both of them, and he immediately pulled his hand back and shifted away. Still
positioned between his knees, she pulled herself upwards and put a gentle
pressure on his thighs, essentially telling him that he wasn’t going anywhere.
He dropped his gaze to focus on her hands…on his upper thighs…fingers
tightening into his sweatpants. He clenched his jaw and attempted to steady his
breathing. Now was not the time. Nor the place. He could lose her friendship…he
couldn’t let her see what she does to him. Never.
“I know.” She spoke slowly. Bewilderment and inquisitiveness joined the sadness
in his eyes as they shot up to meet hers. Pushing against his legs, she leaned
upwards and let her mouth linger near his ear. “I’ve known for a while now,
actually.” She balanced herself on just the one hand as she pulled the other up
to trace her
fingertips along the shell of his ear. “I was waiting for you to say
something…but you don’t talk that much anymore…not to me,
anyway.”
She knew? His hearing? But, he had kept it to himself for so long…he had been
so careful. How? Hearing the twinge of sadness in her voice, his heart knotted.
It wasn’t her. She had to know that. It was him…his problem…his secret…his lie.
The single arm that was holding her up, allowing her to hover above him, began
to give way. Grissom instinctively grasped onto her hip, guiding her body onto
his lap. A small gasp escaped her mouth as she felt her weight come to rest on
his legs. Confident that she was secure, Sara loosened her grip on his
shoulders and leaned back to meet his eyes, relaxing slightly into a straddled
position above him. “Sorry,” she whispered, her breath tickling his face.
He gave her a slight smile. “It’s okay.” His expression turned to one of
seriousness as he spoke his next words. “How did you…?” He paused and shook his
head, deciding that he didn’t want to sound accusing. He had to let her know
that he wasn’t just keeping this from her. “I never intended for anyone to find
out, Sara.”
Her hand moved up his neck slowly, fingers dancing in the hairs above his ears.
“I kind of figured that. But, I learned to investigate from the best…” She
smiled at him, never breaking eye contact. “It took me a while, but I slowly
began to piece the puzzle together.”
Grissom swallowed hard and nodded his head. He was surprised how much of a
relief it was for someone to know. No…not just someone…Sara. Sara knows.
“You know…” She flashed him a wounded grin before continuing. “Someone I care
about recently told me that ‘The best intentions are fraught with
disappointment.’“ She paused and lowered her head before continuing. “Are you
disappointed, Gris? Disappointed that I know?”
“No, Sara. I’m not.”
“Good. Because this doesn’t change how I feel…” The words trailed off into
mumbles as her eyelids drifted shut.
Silence engulfed them for several minutes. Her head was still lowered, eyes
closed, and his chin was resting in her hair. He reached a shaky hand up to her
back and rubbed gently. His thoughts began to drift to the many dreams that his
mind had conjured up within the last few years. Dreams of her. Sitting this
close. Touching him. Loving him. Allowing him to love her in return. He could
feel his body responding and attempted to steer his thoughts elsewhere. When
she shifted in his lap, he realized that it was no use and sighed deeply.
She opened her eyes, relishing in feel of his hands on her back. His touch was
so tender. He was comforting her, when she was the one who should be giving
comfort. Keeping her head down, she moved her hands to his chest, sighing as
she felt the muscles there twitch underneath her palms. It was when she pushed
herself back, slowly, that her eyes came to focus on his lap…and the bulge that
was very evident there.
She pulled her eyes up to meet his. There she saw an apology, combined with
evident embarrassment…desire…arousal. Gil Grissom was aroused…by her. She was
arousing him. The dull throbbing between her legs hit full force.
“God, Sara. I’m…I’m sorry.” He tried to shift himself upright, allowing for a
small amount of composure. “I didn’t –” His next words were lost when he found
her hand on his lap, lightly kneading his erection through his sweatpants.
“Shhhhhh,” she commanded him. He whimpered timidly as
she removed her hand from him. Their eyes met as she scooted up his legs until
her pelvis connected with his. Watching his head fall onto the back of the
couch, she began to grind her body into his. The friction of her rough jeans
against him caused intense sensations to shoot through his body. It had never
been like this…this strong…this meaningful…this wonderful. She leaned down and
placed a small kiss on his chin, allowing her tongue to dart out and taste the
skin there.
His groan reverberated throughout his body as he felt her tongue continue to
dance along his flesh. Sara planted gentle kisses along his neck, pausing at
his Adam’s apple. She pulled the thick flesh into her mouth and sucked
forcefully, speeding up her frenzied movements against his lap. She could feel
his chest rising and falling quickly against her breasts, and her brain soon
registered that those were the only movements coming from him. Did he not want
her? Could she have been wrong? Placing one last kiss on his neck, she ceased
her movements and relaxed her body on top of his, her head coming to rest on
his shoulder. “Gris?”
“Hmm?” Even though he had not formed an actual word, she could still hear the
shakiness in his voice as he nuzzled his mouth into her hair.
She almost lost her next thoughts when she once again felt his manhood
pulsating against her center. “I apologize…for this…if you didn’t want…I…well…I’m
so –”
Before she could finish her words, his hands were in her hair, pulling her face
to his. As he spoke, their lips brushed lightly. “I do…I want you.”
Hearing his words, she moved closer and pulled his bottom lip into her mouth,
sucking gently and muttering through her teeth. “Uh huh…so badly…”
“Yes.” When he felt her hips thrust into him once more, he lost all control.
All he could think about was the woman on top of him…how it would feel to be
inside of her, pleasuring her. Could he please her? His eyes closed and he
gripped her bottom tightly, stalling her movements and holding her to him. He
could feel her questioning him, even with his eyelids keeping her from view...
When they slid open again, his gaze focused on the opposite end of the couch.
His right hand abandoned her body as he reached over to adjust the pillow
against the armrest. When he slowly met her stare again, she was grinning at
him slyly.
“Am I that boring?” Even her whisper was laden with evident passion. “Or are
you just that obsessive about your furnishings?”
His hands were suddenly on her. Sara felt her body rise slightly and, before
she had time to process, she came crashing down onto the cushions, pinned
underneath Grissom’s form.
“Actually…” His breath caught in his throat when he felt her suggestively
squirming underneath him. “I’ve slept on this couch many nights. It’s not…very
comfortable.”
She reached up and kissed him lightly. “I don’t think I’ll mind.” Her mouth was
suddenly drawn to his again, and she allowed herself to linger there, awaiting
his response. She could feel his groan vibrate against her lips and then felt
his tongue push gently into the soft confines of her mouth. Latching her hands
into his hair, she pulled his head to hers, violently molding them together.
Their tongues collided fervently, as their bodies began to move with one
another again. His erection pressed against her thigh, and she adjusted her
body underneath him so that he was pressing into her core. She released his
mouth and bit her lip as the sensations coursed through her body. She couldn’t
take it anymore. This wasn’t enough. She needed him…all of him. “Mmm…Grissom?”
Hearing her voice, he raised himself, displacing the weight of his upper body
onto his hands. “Yeah? Are you okay?”
She raised her hand to his face and traced a line from his cheek to his lips.
“Yes. But…I need you…to touch me…”
He stared at her for a moment, contemplating her words. They had been in very
intimate positions for the last several minutes, but the idea of her wanting
him still shocked him. “Okay…” He admonished himself as the words left his
mouth. Why was he so nervous? It was as if he were touching a woman for the
first time. But, this wasn’t any woman. This was Sara. And she wanted him to
touch her. Sara…wanted to feel his hands…on her body.
He realized that he must have been lost in thought a moment too long when she
grabbed his hand and moved it to her breast, pressing down forcefully. He could
feel her nipple prodding against his palm and, in turn, felt his own hardness
swell. The sensations she was producing in him…emotionally and physically…were like none he had ever experienced. He wanted to show
her. He had to show her… He relinquished her breast and heard her whimper in
protest. The whimper turned quickly into a gasp as he grabbed the edges of her
shirt and pulled it over her head. He lowered his head to her neck and briefly
sucked the flesh into his mouth. He moved even lower and watched her reaction as
his tongue flicked along her breast bone. When saw her head fly back into the
pillow behind her, he smiled to himself. He paused when he reached the thin
material of her bra. His teeth slid along the fabric, grazing the taut nub in
the process. She thrashed beneath him and spoke in indiscernible phrases. He
tickled his fingers down her sides and around her back, unlatching the hook and
loosening the material from her body. She pulled it from around her shoulders
and tossed it onto the carpeting beside the couch. He leaned down to press a
gentle kiss between the mounds of flesh before raising
back up level with her.
“Sara…I…I…God…you are so beautiful…” He had wanted to say so much more, and he
momentarily wondered if he would ever have the courage.
“I’m sure that you are too…”
He raised an eyebrow at her and blushed when he got the gist of her statement.
She was tugging on his shirt and he almost laughed at her obvious frustration.
He raised his torso slightly and her hands eagerly slipped underneath the
cotton, heating his already sensitive flesh. When he levered himself
to a sitting position above her, he took a moment to completely extricate the
shirt from his body. Before he could lower his frame back down, she had hoisted
herself up. Her nails scraped along his chest, gently grazing his nipples. Her
mouth followed the path that her hands had begun as she began to plant wet
kisses onto his stomach, eliciting a series of moans from him.
The lower she moved, the tighter he gripped her shoulder. Grissom leaned back
further, one hand on the armrest behind him, allowing Sara’s lips more room to
meander about his body. He wasn’t sure how much longer he was going to be able
to compose himself. His erection was throbbing for her. Her tongue lingered
around the waistband of his sweatpants, and her teeth nipped at the skin
underneath his belly button. She was teasing him. He knew it. He loved it. But,
he wanted to do the same to her…
He pushed himself upwards, causing his upper body to come into direct alignment
with hers, breasts pressing into his chest. He caressed her chest with his,
feeling her nipples rolling against his skin. If her whimpers were any
indication, she was enjoying herself. He needed to give her more… He pulled her
lips to his and kissed her wildly, rhythmically sucking her tongue into the
depths of his mouth. Reluctantly releasing her lips, he pushed her flat onto
the couch, keeping himself in an upright position above her. He positioned his
hands on her upper arms and teasingly rubbed up and down. When his fingers
reached her shoulders again, he moved them to her neck and traced another path
down, bypassing her breasts, and landing his palms on her stomach. He could
feel her writhing underneath him and saw the desperation in her eyes…begging for
more. Her movements were stilled with a shake of his head.
She felt his weight displacing, and for a split-second thought that he was
leaving. Her fears were quickly erased when she noticed him slowly unbuttoning
and unzipping her jeans. His eyes met hers and she nodded her head in approval
as she lifted her hips, allowing them to be maneuvered down her thighs. He
leaned up while she kicked them the rest of the way down her legs, landing in a
heap at the end of the sofa.
She watched him watching her…it was driving her crazy. He was sitting on her
lower legs and his fingertips were making circles on the underside of her
knees. No other advancements were being made towards her body. She met his
stare and watched him abandon her eyes to follow her hands. She ran them up and
down her stomach a few times before they were drawn back to her breasts. She
squeezed the flesh lightly and smiled when his groan synchronized with her own.
She released the tender flesh and began to move further down her stomach. It was
then that she felt his hand on hers, stopping her.
He leaned down and planted a small kiss on her stomach while he kneaded her
upper thighs.
“God…Grissom…um…more!”
“Patience, sweetheart.”
Her fingers locked into his curls and held him tightly to her body. He smiled
against her flesh as his mouth roamed lower and his hands moved higher, until
they both met at the junction of her thighs. Feeling her for the first time,
his fingertips barely snaked under the material of her panties, as he sucked a
bit of the fabric into his mouth.
She was sure that he could taste and feel the evidence of her desire for him.
She was almost embarrassed by how wet she was… Never before had she responded
this way to a man. She could feel his fingers hesitantly sliding around her
labia, testing how far they could go with the material obstructing them.
His lips made contact one last time with her silk covered core, before moving
up her body and latching onto her breast, sucking the nipple forcefully. She
arched into him again, and he took that opportunity to effortlessly remove her
panties, leaving her naked beneath him.
Sara could feel the muscles of his lower abdomen twitching beneath her fingers.
Wanting to touch more of him, she crept her hand into
his sweatpants and then his boxers, and grasped him gently. Utilizing her other
hand, she worked the clothing down his legs, leaving both of their bodies
exposed to one another. She heard his gasp as he rose up on his arms and titled
his head, watching with amazement as she stroked him. She kept her touch light.
As much as she yearned to watch him come, she wanted the first time to be
inside of her, filling her completely. She shuddered with anticipation while
imagining how his length and thickness would feel deep within her folds.
She suddenly shrieked and released him as she felt his fingers on her clitoris,
placing pressure on the slick nub at uneven intervals.
“Grissom…please…”
Please what? Please stop? Please touch her again? Please make love to her?
She raised her knees up and locked them into his hips. His erection was so
close to her center now…he could feel her wet heat warming him. He observed her
licking her lips and moved even closer. She was moving against him slightly,
her juices rubbing onto his smooth flesh. When he looked into her eyes, he knew
that this was the only place he would ever want to be…close to her. He placed
one of his hands on her hip, and his fingers tightened with nervousness. With
the other hand, he gripped his erection and slowly nudged the head at her
entrance, willing her to open herself to him. He stopped abruptly when he saw
her eyes slammed shut.
“Sara?” He looked at her with questioning eyes. He watched her inhaling and
exhaling sharply...she looked like she was about to hyperventilate. He looked
down to where their bodies where almost joined and a pained look crossed his
face. He had hurt her. She had regrets. He had to stop. As he moved to pull
himself from on top of her, he felt her hips quickly slam up against his own,
effectively impaling his member into the depths of her body...
“Ah…Sara….oh.” He was still in shock. He was inside of Sara…she was moving on
him…tight around him.
“Uhhh, Gris…you’ve gotta…work with me, here…” She saw
a smile quickly appear on his face before desire took over his countenance. He
slid out of her slowly, then plunged back in, pausing
for her reaction before repeating the motions again. “Yes…good…so good…you feel
so wonderful inside of me.”
“Ummmm…I love you, Sara…” The words startled him…he
couldn’t believe he had said them. Yes, he had felt them for years, but they
were no longer trapped in his head…in his heart. He continued to thrust inside
of her as he attempted to gauge her reaction. Maybe she didn’t hear him. But
then he saw them…tears…they were welling up in her eyes. Before he could
question her…or himself…again, she had pulled his head to her and kissed him
hard. The passion there amazed him. He returned the kiss, alternating the
movements of his tongue with the movements of his body.
Her body began to thrust uncontrollably with his…they slammed together with a
force that neither could fathom. She panted into his mouth and wrapped her legs
tightly around his hips, pulling him in as far as she could. He completed her.
She yearned for her release, but at the same time, never wanted this to end.
Her hands reached his back, and she nails dug into the tight muscles there. She
left his mouth and moved to his ear, licking and sucking on the lobe. “Gris…”
She was whispering, attempting to steady her words. “Can…oh…can you hear me?”
He grunted into her neck, wondering if he could still speak coherently while
pumping into her. “Yes…I…uh…I love to hear you, Sara…”
“Good. Because I want you to hear me…oh Grissom…tell you that I love you…so
much…for so long…and forever.”
At that moment he lost all control. She knew him. She wanted him. She loved
him. He felt her beginning to clinch around him and he drove deeper into her.
Her body was shaking violently underneath him. She screamed his name as if chanting…over
and over again. She bit down on his shoulder as she climaxed, the fierce spasms
overtaking her.
Even as her walls attempted to squeeze the life from his erection, he continued
to pound into her slick channel. Hearing his name coming from her mouth fueled
him on. He was pleasuring her. She was letting him love her. For that, he would
be forever grateful…
When her muscles contracted another time, he let himself go, spilling his seed
into her…filling her with his love.
His body collapsed atop of hers, her hair blowing as his heavy breaths hit it.
His lips sought out her neck and kissed her tenderly there. Her fingers played
in his sweaty curls, smoothing them off of his forehead. His eyes met hers and
he grinned when he saw the love there. It was then that he realized the look
had always been the same; he had just never been able to accept it in his
heart. Love brought pain, or so he thought… But, he now knew that Sara’s love
would only bring him strength.
With her, he was invincible…
The End.